Emotionally Needy

Time for a pity party.  I have now been wearing my chastity device for 10 days.  Now that's not to say it hasn't come off because it has.  It's come off to allow her tease me, for me to clean myself and the cage as well as one special evening five days ago when I last was allowed to orgasm. 

So in the big scheme of things it hasn't been long at all.  So what's this pity party all about?  It's about my selfishness and knowing I have a lot left to learn.  My last orgasm wasn't long ago at all as I previously mentioned, however, my desire to orgasm is stronger than almost any time I can think of.  I have to believe that wearing the device is enhancing that desire ten fold.  This has led me to crave Her attention constantly.

She has had to work this weekend and she works hard plus puts in a lot of hours, often times up to 14-16 hours a day.  I work Monday-Friday like clock work, so my weekends are always free.  The difference this weekend is my first weekend locked up and without her around.  As each day wore on, I would find myself aching to have her return home to me. By the end of the night I would be feeling extremely needy and wanting her entire focus when she walked through the door.

Of course, after those long hours on her feet She is tired and in need of relaxing.  My routine each evening when She returns home is to have her supper ready and after she has eaten, I massage her feet and lather them in lotion.  Now here is the real issue.  Once I've completed that, internally I'm screaming for her attention.  She on the other hand just wants to sit back and relax and let Her work day slip away.

I really struggled this weekend because of that, but the more I focused on what She needed, the more I understood how wrong I was for wanting that attention.  After all, I am here for Her, to fulfill her needs and desires.  I ache to please Her and find myself ashamed and guilty for the feelings I had this weekend.  She deserves to relax in whatever manner She needs too and shouldn't have to come home and have to deal with the train wreck that is me.

Luckily, I did not act out in any way, other than feeling pity for myself.  I know as days of chastity turn to weeks and then maybe even months I will have to continue to struggle to maintain all my focus on Her because I love Her and She deserves all I have to give Her and more.  For all of this my Queen I am truly sorry.  I love You.

P.S

I don't mean for this to sound like She simply ignored me and is heartless.  Quite the opposite is true.  I just didn't get ALL of Her attention.  She is the perfect Wife for me.  I just need to learn to be the best husband to Her.