Odd

Let me just start off saying it's been a very odd week or so to say the least.  I did receive my punishment for not losing weight last week and it was a simple but effective punishment.  Five more days tacked onto to my already lengthy chastity sentence.  This week I lost one pound, she lost 4, so that currently has me, in addition to the five added days, looking at a February 8th release date.  Though I do have a reward coming this week!!  She did ask me what I wanted for Christmas this year and I said an orgasm.  She got a nasty grin on her face and promptly said, sorry, those have been sold out.  I thought it was worth a try.

Now, back to the oddness.  Last week we discussed a lot of things in regard to cuckolding, and even setup a potential date which did not go as plan in that well, we were stood up.  Go figure.  More oddness is that as of late, I'm actually struggling a little bit with my submissive.  I'm striving to do my best, and serve that beautiful deserving wife to the best of my abilities, but as of late it's been more work on my part which hasn't been the case to this point.

I've spent some time thinking about that, OK, a lot of time thinking about that and I think I know why.  She works a lot of long hard hours, with varying shifts,  where I tend to have a more 8-5 Monday through Friday kind of job.  What that equates to sometimes is lack of intimacy.  I don't necessarily mean the sexual kind either.  We do not get a lot of time together on occasion and when we do, it is usually late in the evening.  That equates to us not getting to spend a lot of quality time together rather it's just cuddled up on the couch watching TV, sitting and talking or of course, something much more involved.  When you add the chastity and the issues that come with that, the need I have for closeness with her grows stronger and stronger and that is why I think I'm struggling just a bit at the moment.  Hopefully things will slow down here soon and we can have that quality time that I know we both want so much.

Wick on Fire

Well another Monday came and went with are now ritual morning weigh in.  It wasn't good for either of us which means it was worse for me than her.  She had gained a single pound and I had gained two so that pushes my next orgasm to February 3rd. I am already looking at 80+ days.  Wow eighty days and change.  Sounds like forever.

As those of you that have been following me for a while know, if I gain weight she punishes me beyond just tacking days onto the calendar.  This time she had a new idea.  It started with a candle and a lighter.  I'm sure you can see where this is going.  She had me spread eagled on the bed and with a flick of her Bick had the candle lit and within seconds the first drips of hot wax were splashing onto my naked balls.  Ouch, Ouch and Ouch! One little detail I forgot to mention, prior to her starting this wax job so to speak, she said that tonight I would be allowed to have a "ruined" orgasm. I bring that up because it caused a bit of miscommunications between us and my waxing lasted much longer than it needed too!  After minutes of burning wax falling onto my testicles and flowing down between my ass cheeks she finally paused and said something along the lines of; "does this hurt to much for you to cum?".  It turns out she was waiting for me to actually have my ruined orgasm before she stopped, I on the other hand thought I was suppose to do that after.

Let me just say, I had cum oozing from my cock from a ruined orgasm before much more of that wax could find it's way down the candle!  Once the cum started flowing she blew out the candle, smiled down at me, and scooped up my seed and then slowly placed her fingers into my mouth as I sucked myself off her fingers. 

Of course the next part was trying to get cleaned up and get all the dried wax off of me.  The good news is that since she has had me wearing a chastity device, I'm completely shaved down there so I didn't have to worry about the wax clinging to my hair.  All in all, a very unusual punishment.

Other than that, things have been pretty quiet.  We have both been traveling out of town separately the past week so had very little time together.  I will say, we did have one night where we tried the Anbesol and condom trick I've read other do.  I was doubting at first, but between coating my penis with Anbesol and a couple of condoms, I found myself inside of her and lasting until she had several orgasm.  I was very surprised as to how well that actually worked! And with that, I'm outta here for the night!

It's Raining.....Gold?

I received my weight loss reward for this week and it was a doozy. It started with my lovely wife stripping out of her clothes and telling me that part of my reward would be the chance for me to sleep with her while she was naked. I'm not sure I've mentioned it before, but I'm required to sleep naked while she sleeps in pajamas but on this night I would get the great pleasure of curling my naked body up against hers. What man doesn't want the chance to do that, especially with a beautiful woman? With that said though, she wasn't done. Her next instruction was to put a towel down on the floor and lie down.

I had an idea what was coming next, but I knew for sure when she stood over me, began to spread her gorgeous pussy lips open and a moment later the splash of her golden nectar was upon me. This was not my first golden shower from her, we had done it a few times years ago, but this was the first time since starting down this Wife led marriage road. There are very few things which I've personally discovered that pushes me into so called "subspace" then when I experience this. The warmth, the taste, and knowing what it is pushes me very deep into that submissive place and can hold me there for days.

After a quick clean up, the night ended up with me being allowed to lick my Queen's pussy and then through the use of a strap-on double penetrate her, with the dildo in her bottom, and my penis in her pussy. Another magical night, of course it ended with no orgasm for myself. She without a doubt can push all the right buttons with me.

Speaking of no orgasm, it's a month today since my last. A month. Wow, I can't remember the last time I went more than a week and here I am at a month. She continues to tease me and edge me often, and it's taking less and less to get me to that edge. I in fact experienced something the other night which was a first.

She was edging me over and over for over thirty minutes. During that time, I actually began to dread when she wrapped her hand around me again because I knew how it would end. I knew I would be left frustrated and humping thin air. I've never dreaded her touch before. Over and over she did it and over and over I dreaded what was coming (or not coming as the case may be) and yet couldn't bear the thought of her stopping either. Now this is what I call a mind fuck!

With all that said, a month of chastity has been worth every minute of it if it pleases Her. Every tease, every denial, every chore, every supper cooked, every foot massage...all worth it for Her. I love her that much and with each passing day that loves seems to go as deep as my submission to Her.

Heaven

Eighteen days since my last full orgasm.  It's been eighteen days, but last night I got a taste of Heaven.  She removed my cage and spent a some time softly teasing me while she watched television.  It felt so damn good to be out of that device and to feel her hand on my penis as she stroked it and it could actually get hard.  Though not as hard as you'd expect (more on that in a minute).   After the teasing and her show was over, she removed her clothes, and laid next to me and then took me into her mouth.  God did that feel so good.  But it wasn't Heaven.  That was coming next Heaven that is, not me.  After expertly sucking me and bringing me right to the edge, she stopped and climbed up my body and straddled me.  Heaven, for the first time in well over a month, I felt the heat of her pussy on my penis.  Heaven as it slowly slid inside her.  I swore I heard angels sing when she finally sank all the way down onto me.  Heaven.

It only took a few strokes of her very wet and hot pussy to bring me right to the point of no return.  She stopped.  I don't know how she timed it so close.  Over and over she rode me like that.  Though it felt like Heaven there was a touch of Hell as she stopped each time I got close.  I'd take that Hell any day for the chance to feel her wrapped around me like that.  Heaven.

After the Heaven and Hell ride of my life, she slid off of me and told me it was time to worship her pussy with my tongue.  Though I really hated to feel the warmth and wetness of her leave my penis, there is absolutely nothing I love more than to get the chance to taste her and pleasure her with my mouth.  She tastes absolutely wonderful and I cherish every chance I get to taste her and please her. 

Tonight she wouldn't orgasm from my tongue.  Tonight she wanted something else.  Occasionally she gets the urge to have me take her anally while she uses her vibrator on her clit.  Tonight was one of those nights.  A condom, some lubrication, and I was working myself into her.  Once I was in her it literally only took her a minute to explode with a very powerful orgasm.  There is nothing like listening to her when she orgasms.  I absolutely love it.  Luckily for me it only took a minute because there was no way I could have lasted more than that inside of her.  I struggled mightily not to cum as it was.  And with that, our play for the night swiftly came to an end.  There was some discussions we had during all of that which is something that has been talked about off and on during the week.  I think I'll save that for another post.

Now, I mentioned at the top of the post about not being as hard as expected.  I say that because well, I'm not getting as hard as I normally do when that aroused.  I don't know exactly what's going on.  I'm thinking maybe it's the extended time caged up and my mind isn't letting me get the raging erection I normally do or what.  A little worrisome from my point of view.  With that said though, I'm getting hard enough, it's just not as hard as I was used to before this all began.  Interesting to say the least.  I'll have to do some reading to see if others have experienced that.  And with that, I'll come to a close. Later all........

Pushing my Buttons

Day fifteen and the frustration builds and builds.  It simply doesn't help that she continues to find more ways to get me worked up.  She has surprised me many times with that gift.  Last night was a perfect example.  She knows I get very turned on by the thought of her being with someone else.  As I said in my last post we've never done that but we've discussed it and of course she has used stories like the other night to work me up.

Then she comes along last night with a simple story, no sex involved, except this one was true.  While at work a guy began to hit on her.  At one point she tells me he reached for her shoulder, pressing his arm into her incredible breasts.  The flirting continued and before it was said and done there was teasing about dinner and this man wrapping my wife up in a hug.

The emotions that course through me at hearing that are incredible and varied.  In an instant the expected feeling of extreme jealousy hits me.  Any objection I might have to this playfulness is useless because she can see my penis straining to get hard within the chastity device so she knows the thought turns me on.  This is then followed by a flood of humiliation knowing that she knows this turns me on.  Every nerve in my body lights up at the thought and all the different warring emotions and thoughts almost become overwhelming.  She is becoming better and better at pushing my buttons.  With the chastity device and lack of orgasm playing it's part, I am beginning to think she is capable of pushing me to the brink of insanity.  What more could a husband ask for in a Wife?

What a Night

Well the previous post was about mostly nothing.  This one is a bit different.  First, let me mention the weigh in.  She lost 3 pounds, which means the time till my next orgasm is now Nov 4th.  I lost a single pound for the week, so she rewarded me, and it's that reward that made it quite the night.

When she returned home from work, she got her usual foot massage and time to relax.  After that it was bed time or so I thought.  She rolled over into my arms and began to softly stroke my testicles trapped by the chastity device and while doing that she began whispering in my ear.  "Could you imagine lying next to me like this, your cock bound up in a chastity device while I lie hear and spread my legs and have another man fucking me.  You are forced to just lie there and listen to my moans of pleasure as his cock strokes in and out of me.  Your not able to get an erection, to stroke yourself or anything else.  Just watch and listen as I'm fucked until I orgasm.  Then I get the pleasure of watching you open your mouth as he presses his cock to your mouth, making you clean his wet cock off, followed by eating his cum out of my pussy.  Now instead of another man, imagine it a woman."

Now we have never actually done anything like that, but listening to her talk in my already very aroused and frustrated state had me almost climbing the walls.  Little did I know she had more to follow.  She reached into her nightstand and removed her vibrator than looked at me and told me to go get two of our dildos.  A small one and the much larger one.  I complied with this request not knowing what she had planned.

As I climb back into bed with her, she looks at me and says, "Now fuck your ass with the small one".  My heart almost stops.  Though she has used a dildo on me before, having her watch me do it to myself is something I find very humiliating.  That of course doesn't mean I don't do it.  I ease it into me and then began to stroke it in and out while she turns on her vibrator and begins to enjoy herself while watching me.  It doesn't take long for her to reach her first orgasm and soon after she looks into my eyes and whispers, "now the big one".  I moan at the thought of having to have her watch me work that into myself.  I lube it up and then place it at my opening and begin to slowly apply pressure.  It takes several minutes before I have it inside of me.

She continues using the vibrator on herself and watching me as I begin to fuck myself with the larger of the two.  As I get use to it, I begin to stroke faster and the pressure on my prostrate soon has me on the verge of milking my semen out of me.  Over and over I get close to that only to have it slip away.  The closer I get, the more I begin to moan and cry from the torment of wanting to cum and at the same time she is intently watching me as she brings herself to multiple orgasms.  Thirty minutes later we are both lying there breathless.  Her, well satisfied, me more frustrated than ever.  She never looked so beautiful.

It did not take long for her to be wrapped back up in my arms and quickly found herself sleeping as I lay there both very content and very horny and frustrated.  All in all a perfect night.

Caged, Weight and More...

I received my replacement ring last night and they even sent a spare. Of course what that means for me is once again I'm caged. It's been almost a week since the original ring broke and I was free of the CB6000s encasing my penis.

When I saw that package sitting in the pile of mail I have to admit my stomach knotted up immediately. There was some excitement about the thought of being in it again, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't. Surprisingly though there was another feeling; fear. Having the ability to have an erection and to have my penis stroked was great to have again. The thought of losing that once again scared the hell out of me and I was overcome with fear,regret, and arousal all at the same time.

Once my Queen clicked that lock I immediately wanted to fall on my knees in front of Her. It was almost overpowering. If we weren't pressed for time for an evening engagement I would have. As I eluded too in another post wearing a chastity device for me isn't about being good and not cheating. It's about turning over that key and the power exchange that happens when I do that. It's about seeing Her as my Queen and me on my knees with such a powerful desire to please Her in every way she needs, wants and demands. The absolute love and devotion I feel for Her is in a word; amazing.

And in other news the first week of the weight loss challenge has come to an end. Having a weekend getaway did not help either of us sadly. She gained two pounds so two days came off the bank of 31 days until my next orgasm. The bad news is I gained two pounds as well so we are back to 31 days. As for my punishment, a spanking. She took her paddle and with me bent over proceeded to give me many swats until I was near tears from the sting. Hopefully next week will be better.

Trip is Over

Well our extended weekend is officially over. It was good to get away together and spend quality time without any "normal" life issues to stress us out! Three days filled with no pressure, sleeping in, doing what we liked, and of course Her teasing me to the breaking point!

I still don't have my cage back on, so I did get to spend the weekend swinging free which actually in turn probably made things worse for me. It started on Saturday afternoon, She continuously edged me over and over. Keeping me on the verge of completely losing control. That session finished with me getting to climb between Her beautiful legs and place my mouth on Her sweet pussy. There is nothing I crave more, even my own orgasm, then to get to go down on Her until She orgasms. It's a beautiful thing!

Later Saturday evening it was time for more teasing and a little pain The late night fun started with Her putting me into a parachute ball stretcher for the first time. The gentle tug of the weight and Her occasionally swinging it kept me slightly uncomfortable to say the least. It didn't help that while wearing that she added the use of a Wartenberg wheel on my erect penis and stretched testicles. That of course led to me flinching many times which in turn caused the weight dangling from my testicles to swing even more causing additional pulling and discomfort. Once She allowed me out of that it was more edging until She fell asleep. Another long night.....for me.

Sunday we spent the day out and about all day. By the end of the evening She wanted a good foot massage and then to simply go to sleep.

Monday, our final day of the break started with Her getting coffee and breakfast in bed. That was quickly followed with Her once again stroking my penis over and and over, edging me ever closer. I finally reached a point where I was regularly oozing cum which She would ensure each drop ended up in my throat. After teasing me to no end, it was time for the tape and condom trick I mentioned in an earlier post. Once my penis was encased in tape and four condoms, it was time to enter Her. There is no more frustration that I can think of then getting to put myself into Her beautiful pussy and not be able to feel anything. I so wanted to cry and scream in frustration. Her on the other hand did scream and moan as She was able to enjoy orgasms without the worry of me coming too soon. The moans of Her pleasure made my frustration well worth it.

Reluctantly we are back to the real world and I am looking at day number eight since my last release. So, until next time.....

Going Away

Well there isn't much to report today.  She has been working very late every night which usually means we don't get to spend much time if any together.  This weekend though we are going out of town together to celebrate my birthday, so we will have plenty of time to catch up with each other and enjoy time away from everything.  I am really looking forward to it!

As for the broken cage, I ordered it from CB-X.com originally and they were extremely helpful.  I told them the ring had broken and without question said they will mail me another at no charge.  To say the least, I'm a very satisfied customer.

 I will say that I actually miss wearing the chastity device.  When I'm in it, I find I am more focused on my chastity which in turn keeps me much more focused on Her.  I mentioned in my last post about how surprised I was about Her reaction to it breaking.  It turns out, I'm having just as strong a reaction!  With that said, I'm off.  I probably won't be posting till we get back.  Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Sweet Release

The title should say it all. After eleven days of denial my sweet Queen allowed me to release Of course there was lots of teasing leading up to that release.

The teasing started with something we saw once again on another blog (We really need to stop reading other blogs, at least for my own sanity!). She started by wrapping my cock in electrical tape. It was just the shaft, but after getting it wrapped, she placed three condoms over my cock.

After mummifying me, She allowed me to climb between her legs and enter Her. I began stroking my cock in and out of Her sweet pussy. Her moans of pleasure were much louder than my whimpers of frustration as my wrapped cock could not feel anything as it moved in and out of Her

For once, She did not have to worry about any stamina issues with me. Stroke after stroke, her moans and gasps growing in intensity until Her own orgasm exploded. It was wonderful to see and hear Her. Magical.

After catching Her breath and basking in the afterglow of Her own pleasure, She instructed me to get one of our butt plugs. Moments later, She presses the plug into my ass, spreading me open as she pushes it all the way in.

After adjusting to the plug, She begins to stroke my cock with Her hand. Teasingly slow at first. Pinching my testicles and the head of my cock. Gradually Her hand begins to speed up and within moments my pent up need to orgasm reaches a peak. She stops. Over and over again She edges me until unexpectedly She whispers "cum for me boy" and with that, my own orgasm erupts. Eleven days of frustration released. Sweet, sweet release. Thank you my beautiful Wife It was a wonderful night.

Next up, we start the weight loss games. I'm back in my cage and know that I'm already facing many days of chastity. Many more days than the eleven I just suffered through. Wish me luck.

Almost Begging

When my lovely Queen came home from work late last night I prepared Her dinner and gave her time to eat and relax before I started my nightly ritual of massaging Her feet and lathering them up with lotion.  She spends her entire day, sometimes 14-16 hours a day on her feet so She really deserves and needs these foot massages and I happily give them to Her.

After completing the massage for Her beautiful feet it was bed time and I crawled up into bed with Her.  She however wasn't quite ready for sleep.  She decided it was time for some very intense teasing.  When I first locked my penis into the CB6000s one of my many thoughts were that the days of simply "teasing" me were over.  Little did I know that I was completely wrong and even caged up, She has ways of teasing me.  And She's very good at it.

Last night was the worst of it I think.  It is the first time She has brought me to the point of wanting to beg to be released from the chastity device.  I moaned, groaned, whimpered, almost cried, and almost begged for it.  It wasn't simply the desire to cum that brought me there.  It was just the longing to feel an erection and to feel Her magical touch on me.  It's the first time I HATED the device.  I wanted it off.  I wanted to smash it into a million pieces.  I wanted Her touch.

I didn't beg though.  Not yet at least.  Though I'm afraid it's coming.  The whimpering and groaning and of course the subtle humping of thin air are all causes of enough humiliation.  Finding myself to the point I actually begged would be almost more humiliation than I could stand I'm afraid.

Reading back through what I just wrote my thoughts sound selfish.  I guess in a way it is, but there were other thoughts as well.  The thought that was forefront in my mind, even more than wanting to be out of the cage was to sexually please Her.  I'd have in an instant given up any thought of myself to be able to sexually satisfy Her in any way She needed.  Even as I write this, my desire to know She is satisfied overpowers any of my own selfish thoughts.  I would gladly humiliate myself by begging Her to allow me to help Her orgasm in some way.  In anyway She desired.  I'm almost begging to do that as I type.....

Could be Months.....

So, yesterday I said I had something I wanted to blog about but I'd wait.  Well, I guess the wait is over.  While reading some other Wife Led Marriage and male chastity blogs we came across an interesting idea.  Well at least my Queen found it interesting.  I don't remember which blog it was and if I find it again, I'll post a link to the post, but it was about weight loss.

Both my Queen and I would like to lose a few pounds.  She has decided to use my chastity to motivate us.  This new twist to the chastity adventure will start Monday, Oct 1st.  The bank of chaste days will be the entire month of October so out of the gate, I am not going to be allowed to orgasm for the entire month, but that could actually turn out to be longer, or even possibly shorter.

The way it's going to work is for each pound each week She loses, will equate to another day added to the 31 in the bank.  So if the first week she loses three pounds, I'm looking at 34 days before I'm allowed to orgasm.  If She doesn't lose weight that week, then a single day is subtracted from the bank, so that first week could shrink the bank to 30 days for example.  I have a bad feeling that I'm about to be in serious trouble here!

Now, as for my own weight loss, if I lose weight each week, then I'll be rewarded somehow, (but not allowed to orgasm).  The reward might be a "scene" for example.  If I don't lose weight for the week I will be punished somehow for example a severe spanking.

With that said, I've got to say, my stomach is a bit in knots at the thought of what might be coming my way.  On the bright side, we both are trying to stay healthier and that can only benefit us both so regardless of how long I might have to remain chaste, the results will be worth it.

One other thing worth note, my Queen is off work tomorrow and while meeting Her for lunch today, she ominously glanced at me and said She has plans for me tomorrow.  Don't know if I should be excite, scared, or both.  Oh boy.

Intense

Yesterday was the 9th day without an orgasm for me.  It was also hands down the most frustrating and intense day to date.  I think it might have had to with all the teasing the night before without release, but the entire day my cock pulsated.  Not just occasionally but every couple of minutes.  It was frustrating, tantalizing, pleasurable, and even a bit humiliating to not have any control over it. 

By the end of the work day I was to the point I literally did not think I could go another day with this whole chastity thing and thought I was going to beg Her to unlock me and put a stop to it.  I was literally going out of my mind.  I don't know why or how, but at some point, late into the evening, I found control again.  The pulsing never stopped but the impending feeling of misery and doom faded away and I found myself back into a state in which I could tolerate the thought of remaining chaste another day.

Today I continue to have that control back.  I'm afraid though it won't last.  I had very little interaction with my Wife yesterday because She had to work well into the wee hours of the morning.  I'm terrified though of her having an evening to torture me, I mean ummm love on me that I will find myself right back to the point of thinking I might be better off dead than not being allowed to cum.  I guess we will know sooner than later.

Other than that one terrible day I do find myself getting more use to the idea and have reached a point where the CB6000s is now for the most part forgotten except for the occasion pinch or pull during the day.  Sleeping in it is still something I haven't mastered as I use to be a stomach sleeper.  I now find that I will quickly need to learn to sleep on my side or back, or go without sleep.

With that said, I think I'm done here for now.  I do have more to write but think I will wait until tomorrow.  There is something new afoot starting this weekend that may eventually prove to be my undoing.  Until then......

7 days no orgasm

Seven days. One week. That doesn't sound long at all. Unless of course you are someone like me who masturbated almost daily, often times more than once a day. So right now the sexual frustration is through the roof and I ache for release!

The frustration is only heightened I think by having to wear the CB6000s which has been on for almost two weeks now except for the occasional cleaning and of course the orgasm my Queen gave me a week ago.

My Queen obviously continues to surprise me and finds new ways to make that frustration even worse. Case in point the night before she spent considerable time with a feather teasing my confined genitals. Never have I found a feather so erotic and teasing in my life!

And then there was last night. She leaves for the bathroom and a short time later I hear my name called. I enter to find her with her legs spread and commanding me to clean her wet glistening pussy. The butterflies erupted in my stomach as I kneeled and did as I was commanded.

When I was done we returned to bed where the teasing of my constricted testicles started. A short time later she reaches into her nightstand to grab her ever faithful vibrator. There is almost nothing in this world sexier than to watch my beautiful Queen masturbate. To be allowed to touch her makes it even better. Listening to her moan with pleasure, her ever increasing breathing, and the buzz of the vibrator makes my cock strain to get hard within its cage.

A final gasp before she falls over the edge and her orgasm floods her body and soul. Her breathing slowly returns to normal, she turns off the vibrator and I remove my fingers from her beautiful pussy. "lick your fingers clean" she commands and I fervently comply.

She then rolls over into my arms and quickly drifts off to sleep. Me? Sleep will be a long time coming. Seven days has become a lifetime.

Seven days.

Emotionally Needy

Time for a pity party.  I have now been wearing my chastity device for 10 days.  Now that's not to say it hasn't come off because it has.  It's come off to allow her tease me, for me to clean myself and the cage as well as one special evening five days ago when I last was allowed to orgasm. 

So in the big scheme of things it hasn't been long at all.  So what's this pity party all about?  It's about my selfishness and knowing I have a lot left to learn.  My last orgasm wasn't long ago at all as I previously mentioned, however, my desire to orgasm is stronger than almost any time I can think of.  I have to believe that wearing the device is enhancing that desire ten fold.  This has led me to crave Her attention constantly.

She has had to work this weekend and she works hard plus puts in a lot of hours, often times up to 14-16 hours a day.  I work Monday-Friday like clock work, so my weekends are always free.  The difference this weekend is my first weekend locked up and without her around.  As each day wore on, I would find myself aching to have her return home to me. By the end of the night I would be feeling extremely needy and wanting her entire focus when she walked through the door.

Of course, after those long hours on her feet She is tired and in need of relaxing.  My routine each evening when She returns home is to have her supper ready and after she has eaten, I massage her feet and lather them in lotion.  Now here is the real issue.  Once I've completed that, internally I'm screaming for her attention.  She on the other hand just wants to sit back and relax and let Her work day slip away.

I really struggled this weekend because of that, but the more I focused on what She needed, the more I understood how wrong I was for wanting that attention.  After all, I am here for Her, to fulfill her needs and desires.  I ache to please Her and find myself ashamed and guilty for the feelings I had this weekend.  She deserves to relax in whatever manner She needs too and shouldn't have to come home and have to deal with the train wreck that is me.

Luckily, I did not act out in any way, other than feeling pity for myself.  I know as days of chastity turn to weeks and then maybe even months I will have to continue to struggle to maintain all my focus on Her because I love Her and She deserves all I have to give Her and more.  For all of this my Queen I am truly sorry.  I love You.

P.S

I don't mean for this to sound like She simply ignored me and is heartless.  Quite the opposite is true.  I just didn't get ALL of Her attention.  She is the perfect Wife for me.  I just need to learn to be the best husband to Her.

Ruined

She whispers in my ear, "get my keys".  Butterflies spread through my stomach as I stand, move through the house naked, the only sound is the lock knocking against the plastic cage with each step.  Her keys in my hand I return to our bed.

Click.  The lock is undone, a moment later the cage slides down and my cock springs free.  Almost instantly it comes to life and quickly hardens.  She looks down at me, as I lie on my back, and quietly says "I love seeing you like that."  "Like what?", I softly whisper.  "Lying there with an erection, I simply love it."

I then feel her hand wrap around my cock and I groan loudly as the longing I've had to feel her touch there is now quenched.  Her hand slowly begins to work itself up and down my cock and to my humiliation, within mere seconds she has me on the edge of coming.  She relents, removes her hand, giving me just moments to catch my breath before she starts again.  Over and over she plays this game.  I literally cry out with frustration each time she stops.

Each time she seems to be taking me closer and closer to that point of no return.  Incredibly I find myself wanting to come so badly but equally not wanting to come.  Knowing that if I orgasm, the powerful feelings I have for her, the desires, the need to serve, will lessen for a few days.  I'm simply terrified I won't be allowed to orgasm and terrified I will.  Torn.

Her hand quickens, up and down.  My hips begin to buck uncontrollably, and she sternly says, "Would you like me to do this or would you rather do it?"  I wrestle my emotions into check and my hips still.  My breathing is harsh and loud, my moans even louder.  The pressure builds, I know just a couple of more strokes I will be at the point of no return, I plead with her to let me cum and in the next breath beg the opposite.  I am confused, scared, lost in the rhythmic motion of her hand all at the same time.

I almost scream, my hips rise off the bed, I know I will now be allowed to orgasm, her hand moves up one more time, I feel a stream of come begin to move up the length of my cock, her hand comes down and just as I feel the pressure of release her hand leaves my cock.  Instead of the explosive orgasm I knew was coming, all I feel is cum simply flowing from my cock.  No giant spurt, just the flow and leak of my cum.  A ruined orgasm.  I almost cry I ache to fully orgasm.

A moment later, her hand returns, gently squeezing my shaft to get the last ooze of my seed out.  Her hand moves to my face, a finger presses between my lips, I taste my cum as she pushes her finger into my mouth.  Her finger leaves, and returns with even more as she makes me clean up my spilled seed.  She continues until I've taken all of it.

"Put your cage back on."  Soon after that command my cock once more slips into it's prison, aching, frustrated, and wanting more.  Click.  She has returned the lock.  A soft gentle kiss.  "Good night my love", she whispers and soon after she drifts off to sleep.  I lie awake, shivers of desire continue to rack my body.  I ache to touch her, to taste her, to feel her heat, her wetness.  I still find myself softly moaning.  Eventually my eyes close and I too find myself drifting off to sleep, though not a good sleep.  My cock aches for attention throughout the night.  I love you my Queen.

And that was my night.